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Today, a coworker offered me a sucker. I was immediately suspicious, but he reassured me that the wrapper had accidentally come open while he was trying to put it away and that nothing was wrong with it. Still, I didn’t particularly want it, and neither did the person on the other register. It was about to be trundled to the Eastern Wing of the store in search of possible takers when I asked whether we could somehow break it into smaller pieces and share it, thinking that would be a liklier solution than one taker. My coworkers agreed and I attempted to break it by banging it on the counter. Turns out it was harder (literally) than I thought. My coworker on the other register suggested using a hammer which was apparently kept under the register. I searched for it, but again, nothing, so I once again attempted to break the confectionary by whacking it against the countertop. At this point, an older couple came to cash out with me, so I had to put it aside. The woman asked if it was a certain type of sucker, one which had made happy childhood memories for many people, and seemed confused as to why I was treating it with such aggression. I told her that it was, and explained the back story, the lack of hammer, and what was either my weakness or one tough sucker foiling me, when her husband asked, “Want me to whack it with my cane?” He held it up, and its head looked remarkably like a hammer. Taking this as serendipity, I excitedly responded affirmatively.
In my excitement, I seem to done two very stupid things: 1. adopted the belief that this magical, serendipious cane would cleave the sucker into the perfect number of evenly-sized pieces, and 2. forgotten what had brought the sucker to this point in the first place: that the bottom of the wrapper was open. As the hammer-cane came down with a sound that probably scared the heck out of several customers, a spray of pulverized candy shot out from the open end of the bag and flew in every direction. I giggled in amusement/horror (with the knowledge that I’d have to hunt for little red shiny chunks of sucker immediately after), as did the couple. The man asked before he left if I needed him to whack anything else for me. I immediately thought of flies, but, as we haven’t been plagued by any lately, I laughed and told him we might keep him on call.
Later, when I grumbled about finding more candy pieces after I thought I’d cleaned the entire mess up, a coworker who wasn’t in the department at the time of the incident asked what had happened. When I said, “I let a customer smash it with his cane,” I knew: it definitely wasn’t the wisest decision I could have made, but it was one of the awesomest.
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